Moved!

I am moving, well i have moved now, this blog because,

one of many reasons, however the main one being, i no longer believe i have two lives, being the title of this blog, because,

i may have had 2-lives or i may not have had 2-lives whether or not, i will leave you to decide,

i've decided i have one life and i'm living it!

email me for the new blog!

xx

Busy,

its been a long time since i post, i will be doing so shortly, (its because i am.....read the title lol) sorry all....

Robin Hood!

Entitled Robin Hood because i've watched it on the TV tonight lol I do actually quite like the man who plays robin hood and the one who plays Will. check out Robin Hood .

Its been a while since i have written anything, i have been on holiday to look at universitys.

however at the request of marz, i shall recap on all the characters and who they are.

Flo - is my best friend - girl - knows i am gay
Danni - another best friend - girl - knows i am gay - fancys Dan like mad
Alice - my other best friend - knows i am gay - Dannis best friend

Dan - the guy danni and me both fancy at school
Chelsea - Dans sister
Sam the trombone player - a guy who is quite fit who goes to the county windband who i do now know.
Issac, just a random guy at school - in my IT class
Tom - on of Dans friends - in my IT class
James - the only guy at my school who is out as gay!

dont think i have mentioned anyone else, if i have let me know and i will add it in the next post!

well whats happened recently, i have discovered from danni, via james, that Tim Carr is gay,

Tim Carr is someone who i went to school with about 5 years ago, who i actually quite liked and from what i can remember i knew quite well. whats odd is, (just have to fit somehting in first)

(we have a three tear schooling system in my area, 1st school, middle school and then high school)

i went out with a GIRL called alex at middle school (before admitting to myself i was gay)
but the strange thing is Tim stole her off me!!!! and whats more strange is mabye she turned us both gay hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha lol (think i overexagerated that laughing), but u get the idea! LOL

tim went on to a different high school and then i found out the other day because he goes to the same gay club as james.

and.....yes i am jelous of this because i want to go to a gay club, however it just isnt possible because my parents dont know i could always lie however people from my school go to this club with tim, and that would be kinda disasterous as they would see me and everyone would no!!! but the thing is i dont mind them knowing, its just the people from there that would find out! :S

moving on....a funny story

my mum told me this whilst up north on holiday, she met a man whilst walking the dogs one morning and he told her this,

"the prince in the local castle in 17th century, had a bit of a thing going with a french man, and the locals didnt like this, and so he was moved out of the castle, and he was killed by the locals shuving a red hot poker up his arse!"

now this story is funny, and quite random, and why was a man telling my mum this! how strange?!

i visited a city university whilst up north, and my mum doesnt want me to go to a city uni, as she says that i will spend all of my money! really she just worries about me, but if i dont go to a city uni, will i get a social life, i stand a better chance of evolving gayly so to speak than if i go to a campus university.



i'm wondering what it would be like if i got hold of tim carrs email adress, would he tell anyone if i told him i was gay and would anything happen along the line of anything LOL (that includes everything from talking to anything really LOL hahahah!) i wonder lol i would actually like to meet with him and talk to him in person. hmmmmmmm

thats about it for now,

leave coments please!!! anything at all!!!

xx xx xx

Sorry,

Sorry to anyone who reads this blog, i will post soon, i have been extremely busy with universitys!

sorry all,

xx

Suspicions,

Its been a while, and i dont know if i have much to say, but i think i will have in a weeks time lol!

i think tonights post will be based on events that happened on friday night,

Friday evening we went out for a meal, and on the way there, my mum was quoting a lady who she regulary talks to in our local post office and this lady has a gay son.

i know my mum has suspicions about me being gay and these are quite obvious at times,

the post office lady threw her son out when he was 16 and did the same to her daughter, my mum was trying to tell me that she gets on with her daughter when i know otherwise, and that her reasoning for throwing her son out was because she doesnt understand him and never did. This i find horrible, as because someone is gay suddenly people say they dont understand you, however secondly that my mum seemed to think that this is a perfectly good reason to disown your son.

telling my parents i am gay is a bridge i will have to face one day, (any advice would be much

appreciated), i am dreading the moment, however it is going to happen and i have a feeling soon, and i dont really like to think about it, however its something i must face. I think it will be worse than when i told danni, and i felt like the whole world had stopped spinning, it was a weird and horrible sensation that day, and the weeks to follow.

When my mum was accousing me of being gay last time she had a big argument with me, i remember her saying, "liking girls and liking girls is a different thing" lol i find it funny now but at the time it made me feel very angry and hurt, because it wasnt just that thing that was said.

The weirdest things i have done is to actually play along with what is said sometimes and be homophobic, but i am clearly lying?! (i hope i dont appear homophobic to anyone i know that is gay and i dont no is gay)(if that makes sense)

i dont no why but i feel like if i tell my family, i feel like i will lose all respect from them, anything i say/do will no longer be valid because i am "GAY" nothing i say will ever be right because "i am gay" ...... i dont want this to happen but i fear it will.

love and light,

speak soon

xx

please leave comment or email any advise.

Sam the trombone player!

Today has been an interesting day, this morning, Saturday, had to get up early because it was S Wind Band, and I had a great time, Flo, and Alice were there and Lucy (head girl at our school) and it was good fun. I used to fancy Chris the drum player in the band, however I’ve now come to the conclusion that I like SAM THE TROMBONE PLAYER! Lol and he wasn’t there today! But he also goes the county wind banc so I should see him Thursday night! (is he gay, I hope lol!?!?-----Probably not!)

Marz email me………twolives1989@yahoo.co.uk……I emailed you from this address,

Flo has been at my house all day, shes gone home now, but we had an amazing time! She has a boyfriend and she talks about him an awful lot lol but I don’t really mind, I haven’t met him yet but look forward to!

For those people who like gossip, Danni is acting rather strange again, confusing girl! I love my friends who are girls and Danni just confuses me like no other. She has kind of stopped talking to me again and this is odd.

For some reason as before she has become defensive about Alice being her friend and her friend alone! And…..made a point of saying rather loudly to me “I won’t be on msn tonight because ALICE is coming round” this I don’t understand, as I spend every other night with Alice and every other Saturday! And I don’t ever mention it??? All I can assume is she is trying to make me jelous? And she is very possessive over people and information about people (dan)(she doesn’t tell me anything she knows about him)

And just now she has started talking to me, dan has been on msn for 2 and a half hours and ive been totally ignored however the second he is gone! Hi, I dint know you were there! Ahhh! Lol

She also has weird obsessions with knowing exactly where he is all the time, what he is doing and who he is with! Much like a stalker! Lol hahaha! She always asks me how long dan has been on, when he has been on, when he has gone, how long he has been set away for? And I don’t understand what knowing the information changes!

Not being bitchy but she asked him out, and he turned her down! So obviously her stalker approaches didn’t work! Hahaha! (he must think FREAK)

One more thing, before I move on, Danni is living someone else’s life, she is wearing all of a sudden which dans sister wears and if not what she wears she is wearing clothes that he would wear, hence the England t-shirt which made her look like a man!

In the middle of watching causality tonight, the theme turned into 2 gay people who had met on the internet, in the end of the story one turned out to be 14 and the other was 18, however he fell through a glass table in a gay club and was under aged, however the 18 year old was playing a character called “Jamie Becket” and with a lot of research I found he name, “Christian Cooke” and is amazingly fit! There is nothing on the internet so far as recent pictures go, just names of what he has been in, however I am pretty sure that there will be!

Sorry its been a while,

goodnight,

xx xxXxx

ps I have yet to find out who has gone out of x-factor (English pop idol) and I haven’t yet looked if there is any talent among the contestants! I hope so…..

A Gay Teacher!

For some reason i am very excited about some news i found out on friday!

For everyone out there, as you know i play the saxophone, (i also play the piano) this means i take music at my college, and i know the music teacher (mr w) rather well, however,

he keeps me up to date on all the latest gossip arouond the school, ie staff wise!

my mum is a school govenor and she told me about a new IT teacher she had interviewed and had been employed, so this september came and i had my normal teacher for IT mrs b and the new IT teacher mr K!

Mr W sat there and said, that one of the p.e. teachers had told him that there was a gay marriage in the school and i said, "dont ask me why but is it mr K" to which he replied yes!!!!!

Lets just say i just kinda thought it but wasnt sure! but how fantastic! i just want to say how pleased i am, but i cant can i>?

he doesnt know any pupils know he is gay and no one nos that i am!

he would lose his respect if any pupils found out! but how great!

I think the world of this man, as an IT teacher, he knows what he is talking about!

and i found this really funny! my mum would flip if she found out, becasue i go on about him all the time, and she employed him haha! as she suspects i am gay deep down! haha!

I also wonder how a gay marriage works, i want to be invited to it, do they have 2 brides maids, 2 best men???? and do they say you may "kiss the groom"??????????????

I just feel excited about the whole thing, and i dont no why! but how cool!!!!!!

xx x

ps marz if you read again, can u answer my questions in the post called "where are you" below, email me if u like or if u dont want to answer thats fine?